Blood Promise Chapter Twenty-Three

Unfortunately, I couldnt remember where Id snarl it before.Conside sidestep everyaffair else that had been happening to me, the fact that Id even rec everyed it at totally was remarkable. My memories were a itsy- micro chipsy scattered, precisely I did my best to sift finished them, wondering where I had experienced that tickling in my brain. I real no answers, and speculate it all soon became as frustrating as coming up with an escape plan.And as much(prenominal)(prenominal)(prenominal) clip passed, I realized I rattling did bring an escape plan. The endorphin withdrawal was cleanup spot me, solely I was thinking more and more clearly as the effects leave wing my system. I was astonished at how knocked out(p) of it Id allow myself be cum. As soon as Id allowed Dimitri to flecke me Id fallen a kick downstairs. Id lost my higher(prenominal) reasoning. Id lost my strength and skills. Id become soft and zany and stupid. Well, non entirely. If Id whole lost it, Id be a Strigoi instantaneously. in that respect was slightly comfort, at least, in bashing that even firearm high on bites, some vox of me had lifelessness fought through and refuse to succumb.Knowing I wasnt as entirely wishy-washy as Id believed helped keep me red. It mend it easier to ignore the yearning in my body, to abstract myself with bad TV and eating all the food in the bittie refrigerator. I even stayed awake for a long time in the hopes of exhausting myself. It worked, and I crashed as soon as I mark the pillow, drifting into a dreamless sleep with no withdrawal effects.I was awakened later when a body slid into bed beside me. I loose my pick up and stared right into Dimitris red unitys. For the stolon time in days, I looked at him with fear, not love. I kept that make my case, though, and smiled at him. I reached out and daubed his face.Youre impale. I missed you.He caught my plenty and kissed my palm. I had things to do.The shadows shifted on his face, and I caught the tiniest glimpse of dried blood near his mouth. Grimacing, I rubbed it off with my finger. So I determine.Its the natural order, Rose. How are you legal opinion?Better. move outWhat?I looked away, conflicted again. The look in his eyes bonnie consequently was more than simple curiosity. There was concern there- scarce a little- and it was there. Concern for me. And yet only a moment ago, Id wiped blood from his face-blood from some poor person whose spirit had been snuffed out within the last a couple of(prenominal) hours, most kindredly.I was in Lissas head, I express at last. There was no harm in telling him this. Like Nathan, he knew she was at the Academy. And I got pushed out.Pushed out?yea I was learning through her eyes like I ordinarily do, and then some force I dont sleep with, an invisible hand rackd me out. Ive never felt anything like it.Maybe its a new spirit ability.Maybe. Except, Ive been ceremonial occasion her regularly, and Ive never go throughn her practice or even consider anything like that.He shrugged slightly and put an arm around me. Being awakened gives you break-dance senses and accessibility to the world. only when it doesnt make you omniscient. I dont know why that happened to you.understandably not omniscient, or else Nathan wouldnt requirement information approximately her so soberly. why is that? Why are the Strigoi fixated on killing the royal lines? We know theyve-youve-been doing it, compose why? What does it matter? Isnt a victim a victim-especially when plenty of Strigoi employ to be royal Moroi?That requires a complicated answer. A large part of hunting Moroi royalty is fear. In your gray world, royalty are held to a higher place all early(a)s. They get the best guardians, the best protection. Yes, that was certainly true. Lissa had disc everywhereed that such(prenominal) at Court. If we can yet get to them through that, then what does it rate? It means no hotshot is safe . It creates fear, and fear makes people do whacky things. It makes them easier prey.Thats horrible.Prey or-Yeah, yeah, I know. Prey or predator.His eyes narrowed slightly, on the face of it not liking the interruption. He let it go. Theres also a arrive at to unraveling Moroi leadership. That creates instability, to a fault.Or maybe theyd be better off with a vary of leadership, I said. He gave me another odd look, and I was a bit startled myself. There I was, thinking like Victor Dashkov again. I realized I should vertical be quiet. I wasnt behaving like my popular scattered and high self. Whats the quiet?The rest A smile slue up his lips. The rest is prestige. We do it for the glory of it. For the reputation it gives us and the rejoicing of knowing were responsible for destroying that which others containnt been able to destroy for centuries.Simple Strigoi nature. Malice, hunting, and death. There didnt need to be any other reasons.Dimitris gaze moved past me to my bed side table. It was where I took off all my jewelry at night and laid it out. every his gifts were there, glittering like some pirates treasure. Reaching over me, he get up up the nazar on its chain. You still have this.Yup. non as comely as your stuff, though. Seeing the blue eye reminded me of my mother. I hadnt thought virtually her in a very long time. Back in Baia, Id swelled to see Olena as a secondary mother, plainly now now I kind of wished for my own. Janine Hathaway office not cook and clean, but she was heady and competent. And in some ways, I realized with a start, we thought alike. My traits had come from her, and I knew with certainty that in this situation, she wouldnt have stopped planning escape.This I havent seen before, Dimitri said. Hed set the nazar vertebral column down and picked up the plain silver ring Mark had granted me. I hadnt worn it since I was last in the Belikov househ grey and had set it on the table contiguous to the nazar.I got it whil e I was- I stopped, realizing I hadnt ever brought up my travels before Novosibirsk. trance you were what?While I was in your hometown. In Baia.Dimitri was playing with the ring, moving it from fingertip to fingertip, but he pause and glanced over at me when I said the name. You were there? Strangely, we hadnt talked a good deal or so that. Id mentioned Novosibirsk a hardly a(prenominal) times, but that was it.I thought thats where youd be, I explained. I didnt know that Strigoi did their hunting in cities here. I stayed with your family.His eyes re turned to the ring. He continued playing with it, twirling it and rolling it around. And?And they were nice. I liked them. I hung out with Viktoria a lot.Why wasnt she at school?It was Easter.Ah, right. How was she?Fine, I said quickly. I couldnt bring myself to tell him about that last night with her and Rolan. Karolinas good too. She reminds me of you. She genuinely laid into some dhampir guys who were causing trouble.He smiled aga in, and it was nice. I mean, the fangs still made it creepy, but it didnt have that sinister edge Id come to expect. There was substance in his face, true affection that startled me. I can see Karolina doing that. Did she have her baby yet?Yeah I was still a little thrown off by that smile. It was a girl. Zoya.Zoya, he repeated, still not looking at me. Not a bad name. How was Sonya?Okay. I didnt see too much of her. Shes a little touchy Viktoria says its because of the pregnancy.Sonyas expectant too?Oh. Yeah. Six months, I think.His smile dimmed a little bit, and he near seemed concerned. I suppose it had to happen sooner or later. Her decisions arent always as wise as Karolinas. Karolinas children were by choice Im conjecture Sonyas was a surprise.Yeah. I kind of got that knowing too.He ticked off the rest of his family members. My mother and grandmother?Er, fine. Both of them. This conversation was beseeming increasingly strange. Not only was it the first normal one wed had since Id arrived, it was also the first time hed really seemed pursualed in anything that wasnt Strigoi related or that didnt involve gorgerin and biting, aside from some reminiscing about our early fights together-and the teasing reminders of sex in the cabin. Your grandmother scared me a little.He laughed, and I flinched. It was so, so c withdrawlipped to his old laugh. Closer than Id ever imagined it could be. Yes, she does that to people.And she pretended not to speak English. That was a pretty small detail in the grand scheme of things, but it still kind of pissed me off.Yes, she does that too. He continued smiling, piece fond. Do they all still live together? In that equivalent house?Yup. I saw the books you told me about. The pretty ones-but I couldnt read them.Thats where I first got into American westerns.Man, I loved making fun of you over those.He chuckled. Yes, mingled with that, your stereotypes about Eastern European music, and the whole ?comrade thing, you had plenty of material.I laughed too. ?Comrade and the music were kind of out of line. Id almost forgotten about my old nickname for him. It didnt fit anymore. But you brought the cowboy thing on yourself, between the leather duster and- I stopped. Id started to mention his duty to help those in need, but that was hardly the case anymore. He didnt notice my lapse.And then you left them and came to Novosibirsk?Yeah. I came with those dhampirs I was hunting with those other unpromised ones. I almost didnt, though. Your family wanted me to stay. I thought about doing it.Dimitri held the ring up to the light, face shadowed with thought. He sighed. You probably should have.Theyre good people.They are, he said softly. You might have been happy there.Reaching over, he set the ring back on the table and then turned to me, bringing our mouths together. It was the softest, sweetest kiss hed given me as a Strigoi, and my already considerable shock increased. The gentleness was fleeting, though, an d a few seconds later, our kissing returned to what it usually was, forceful and hungry. I had a feeling he was hungry for more than skilful kissing, too, despite having fed recently. force aside my confusion over how well, normal and kind hed seemed while talk about his family, I tried to figure out how I was spillage to dodge more biting without raising suspicion. My body was still loose and wanting it, but in my head, I felt more like myself than I had in ages.Dimitri pulled up from the kiss, and I blurted out the first thing that came to mind before he could do anything else. Whats it like?Whats what like?Kissing.He frowned. Score one for me. Id momentarily baffled an undead creature of the night. Sydney would be proud. What do you mean?You said being awakened enhances all the senses. Is kissing diametrical then?Ah. Under rest flashed over his features. It is, kind of. My sense of smell is stronger than it used to be, so your scent comes through much more intensely your sw eat, the wash in your hair its beyond what you can imagine. Intoxicating. And of course, sharper taste and touch make this better. He leaned down and kissed me again, and something about his description made my insides queasy-in a good way. That wasnt supposed to happen. My hope was to distract him-not myself.When we were distant the other night, the flowers were really strong. If theyre strong to me, are they overwhelming to you? I mean, do the scents get to be too much?And so it began. I bombarded him with as many questions as I could, asking him about all aspects of Strigoi life. I wanted to know what it was like, how he felt I asked everything with curiosity and enthusiasm, biting my lip and round thoughtful at all the right places. I could see his interest grow as I spoke, though his attitude was brisk and efficient-in no way resembling our earlier affectionate conversation. He was hoping that I was finally on the enclosure of agreeing to turn.As the questioning continued, so also did my outward signs of fatigue. I yawned a lot, lost my train of thought a lot. Finally, I rubbed my eyes with my hands and yawned again. Theres so much I didnt know still dont knowI told you it was amazing.Honestly, some of it was. Most of it was creepy as hell, but if you got over the whole undead and evil thing, there were definitely some perks to being Strigoi.I have more questions, I murmured. I closed my eyes and sighed, then opened them as though forcing myself to stay awake. But Im so stock(a) I still dont feel good. You dont think I have a concussion, do I?No. And once youre awakened, it wont matter anyway.But not until you answer the rest of my questions. The words were muffled in a yawn, but he understood. It took him a while to respond.Okay. Not until then. But time is trail out. I told you that before.I let my lids drift closed then. But its not the second day yetNo, he said quietly. Not yet.I lay there, steadying my breathing as much as I could. Would my act work? It was highly possible he would still fox from me even if he thought I was asleep. I was fetching a gamble here. One bite, and all my work to fight the withdrawal would be wasted. Id reset to how Id been. As it was, I had no clue how I was going to dodge a bite next time but then, I didnt think thered be a next time. Id be a Strigoi by then.Dimitri lay beside me for a few more minutes, and then I felt him move. Inside, I braced myself. Damn. Here it came. The bite. Id been certain that our kissing was part of the win of him drinking from me and that if I average fell asleep, the allure would be gone. ostensibly not. All my pretending was for nothing. It was all over.But it wasnt.He got up and left.When I heard the door close, I almost thought it was a scam. I thought for sure he was trying to fake me out and still very stood in the room.Yet when I felt the Strigoi nausea fade, I realized the truth. He really had left me, thinking I undeniable to sleep. My act had been convincing.I immediately sat up, turning a few different things over in my mind. In that last bit of his visit, hed seemed well, hed reminded me more than ever of the old Dimitri. Sure, hed still been Strigoi through and through, but thered been something else. A bit of warmth to his laugh. Sincere interest and affection upon perceive about his family. Had that been it? Had hearing news of his family triggered some piece of his soul buried within the freak? I confess, I felt a little jealous at the thought that they might have wrought the change in him that I couldnt. But hed still had that aforesaid(prenominal) warmth in talking about us, just a littleNo, no. I had to stop this. There was no change. No reversal of his state. It was wishful thinking, and the more I regained my old self, the more I realized the truth of the situation.Dimitris actions had made me recall something. Id whole forgotten about Oksanas ring. I picked it up from the table and slipped it on my finger. I f elt no noticeable change, but if the meliorate magic was still in it, it might help me. It could expedite my body and mind healing from the withdrawal. If any of Lissas darkness was bleeding into me, the ring could help dampen that, too.I sighed. No matter how often I told myself I was free of her, I never would be. She was my best friend. We were connected in a way that few could understand. The denial Id been living under lifted. I regretted my actions with Adrian now. Hed come to me for help, and Id thrown his kindliness back in his face. Now I was bereft of communication with the outside world.And thinking of Lissa reminded me again of what had happened earlier when Id been in her mind. What had pushed me out? I hesitated, pondering my course of action. Lissa was far away and possibly in trouble. Dimitri and the other Strigoi were here. But I couldnt walk away quite yet. I had to take one more look at her, just a quick oneI found her in an unexpected place. She was with Deirdr e, a counselor on campus. Lissa had been seeing a counselor ever since spirit had begun manifesting, but it had been soul else. Expanding my senses to Lissas thoughts, I read the story Her counselor had left shortly later the schools attack. Lissa had been reassigned to Deirdre-who had once counseled me when everyone thought I was going crazy over Masons death.Deirdre was a very polished-looking Moroi, always meticulously dressed with her blond hair styled to perfection. She didnt look much older than us, and with me, her counseling method had resembled a police interrogation. With Lissa, she was more gentle. It figured.Lissa, were a little worried about you. Normally, you would have been suspended. I actually stopped that from happening. I keep feeling like theres something going on that you arent telling me. Some other issue.Lissa suspended? I again reached in to read the situation and found it. Last night, Lissa and others had been busted for gaolbreak into the depository libr ary of all places and having an impromptu party complete with alcohol and destruction to some of the property. Good God. My best friend needed to join AA.Lissas arms were crossed, her demeanor almost combative. Theres no issue. We were just trying to have fun. Im sorry for the damage. If you want to suspend me, go ahead.Deirdre shook her head. Thats not my decision. My concern is the why here. I know you used to suffer from depression and other problems because of your, ah, magic. But this feels more like some kind of rebellion.Rebellion? Oh, it was more than that. Since their fight, Lissa had been unable to let on Christian, and it was killing her. She couldnt handle downtime now. All she thought about was him-or me. Partying and risk taking were the only things that could distract her from us.Students do this stuff all the time, argued Lissa. Why is it a big deal for me?Well, because you put yourself in danger. After the library, you were on the verge of breaking into the pool. Swimming while intoxicated is definite cause for alarm. zippo drowned. Even if someone had started to, Im sure that between all of us, we could have pulled them out.Its just alarming, considering some of the self-destructive behaviors you once exhibited, like the cuttingSo it went for the next hour, and Lissa did as good a job as I used to in dodging Deirdres questions. When the session ended, Deirdre said she wasnt going to recommend disciplinal action. She wanted Lissa back for more counseling. Lissa would have actually preferred handle or cleaning boards.As she stalked furiously across campus, she espy Christian going in the opposite direction. Hope lit the pitch blackness of her mind like sunshine.Christian she yelled, running up to him.He stopped, gravid her a wary look. What do you want?What do you mean what do I want? She wanted to throw herself in his arms and have him tell her everything would be okay. She was upset and overwhelmed and filled with darkness but there wa s a piece of vulnerability there that desperately needed him. I havent been able to find you.Ive just been His face darkened. I dont know. Thinking. Besides, from what I hear, you havent been too bored. No surprise everyone knew about last nights fiasco. That kind of thing disruption like wildfire thanks to the Academys gossip mill.It was nothing, she said. The way he regarded her made her nervus ache.Thats the thing, he said. Everythings nothing lately. All your partying. Making out with other guys. Lying.I havent been lying she exclaimed. And when are you going to get over Aaron?You arent telling me the truth. Its the same thing. It was an echo of Jills sentiment. Lissa barely knew her and was really starting to hate her. I just cant handle this. I cant be a part of you going back to your days of being a royal girl doing crazy stunts with your other royal friends.Heres the thing. If Lissa had elaborated on her feelings more, on just how much her guilt and depression were eating her up and making her spin out of correspond well, I think Christian would have been there for her in an instant. condescension his cynical exterior, he had a good heart-and Lissa owned most of it. Or used to. Now all he could see was her being silly and shallow and returning to a lifestyle he despised.Im not she exclaimed. Im just I dont know. It just feels good to sort of let loose.I cant do it, he said. I cant be with you if thats your life now.Her eyes went wide. Are you breaking up with me?Im I dont know. Yeah, I guess. Lissa was so consumed by the shock and villainy of this that she didnt really see Christian the way I did, didnt see the agony in his eyes. It destroyed him to have to do this. He was hurting too, and all he saw was the girl he loved changing and becoming someone he couldnt be with. Things arent the way they used to be.You cant do that, she cried. She didnt see his pain. She saw him as being cruel and unfair. We need to talk about this-figure it out-The time for talkings past, he argued. You should have been ready to talk sooner-not now, not when things on the spur of the moment arent going your way.Lissa didnt know whether she wanted to scream or cry. She just knew she couldnt lose Christian-not after losing me, too. If she lost both of us, there was nothing left for her in the world.Please, dont do this, she begged. I can change.Im sorry, he snapped. I just dont see any evidence of that.He turned and rudely walked away. To her, his departure was boisterous and cold. But again, Id seen the anguish in his eyes. I think he left because he knew if he stayed, he wasnt going to be able to go through with this decision-this decision that hurt but that he felt was right. Lissa started to go after him when a hand suddenly pulled her back. She turned and saw Avery and Adrian standing there. From the looks on their faces, theyd overheard everything.Let him go, said Adrian gravely. Hed been the one to grab her. He dropped his hand and laced hi s fingers through Averys. Going after him nows just going to make it worse. Give him his space.He cant do this, said Lissa. He cant do this to me.Hes upset, said Avery, her concern mirroring Adrians. He isnt thinking straight. Wait for him to cool off, and hell come around.Lissa stared off after Christians retreating figure, her heart breaking. I dont know. I dont know if he will. Oh God. I cant lose him.My own heart broke. I wanted so badly to go to her, to comfort her and be there for her. She felt so alone, and I felt horrible for leaving her.Something had pushed her into this downward spiral, and I should have been there to help her out of it. That was what best friends did. I needed to be there.Lissa turned back and looked at Avery. Im so confused I dont know what to do.Avery met her eyes, but when she did the strangest thing happened. Avery wasnt looking at her. She was looking at me.Oh jeez. Not you again.The joint rang in my head, and snap I was out of Lissa.There it was, t he mental shove, the clangoring of my mind and waves of hot and cold. I stared around my room, shocked at how abrupt the transition had been. Yet Id learned something. I knew then that Lissa hadnt been the one to shove me out before or now. Lissa had been too distracted and too distraught. The voice? That hadnt been hers either.And then, I finally remembered where Id felt that brushing touch in my head. Oksana. It was the same sensation Id experienced when she had reached out to my mind, trying to get a feel for my moods and intentions, an action that both she and Mark admitted was invasive and wrong if you werent bonded to someone.Carefully, I replayed what had just happened with Lissa. Once again, I saw those last few moments. Blue-gray eyes everlasting(a) at me-me, not Lissa.Lissa hadnt pushed me out of her head.Avery had.